Monday, January 09, 2006
Fiction, At Least for Now
January 9, 2006. 6:54PM PT.
LOS ANGELES - Eric Gagne announced today that he will have laser eye surgery, stating "those goggles were just getting too foggy, especially in other cities, where they have moisture in the air." Gagne continued, "Hey, everyone else is getting surgery, and I don't like being left out."
Indeed just a few days ago, Jeff Kent announced he was getting surgery to remove himself from spring training, and get a bit of scar tissue off his wrist. Ned Colletti called this "precautionary." Rafael Furcal announced earlier today that he would be getting surgery on his knee, which had been bothering him last year. Colletti called this "a cleanup." At the news of Gagne's eye surgery, Colletti said Gagne was being a punk for trying to get him to call his surgery "visionary," describing it rather as "elective."
Rumors are circling now of more potential surgery. Kenny Lofton and Sandy Alomar Jr, are both shopping around for Botox treatments. Owner Frank McCourt announced he would have a brain transplant, because doctors gave him a discount as there is nothing to remove. JD Drew announced that he would do whatever it takes to have his entire skeletal structure replaced with adamantium, because he told his family that he would be Wolverine for Halloween. Finally, Odalis Perez announced he would get a haircut. Ned Colletti announced that he and Gagne have a good working relationship due to his experience as a sportswriter who covered hockey. When asked about the surgeries, Colletti said "well, why not."
LOS ANGELES - Eric Gagne announced today that he will have laser eye surgery, stating "those goggles were just getting too foggy, especially in other cities, where they have moisture in the air." Gagne continued, "Hey, everyone else is getting surgery, and I don't like being left out."
Indeed just a few days ago, Jeff Kent announced he was getting surgery to remove himself from spring training, and get a bit of scar tissue off his wrist. Ned Colletti called this "precautionary." Rafael Furcal announced earlier today that he would be getting surgery on his knee, which had been bothering him last year. Colletti called this "a cleanup." At the news of Gagne's eye surgery, Colletti said Gagne was being a punk for trying to get him to call his surgery "visionary," describing it rather as "elective."
Rumors are circling now of more potential surgery. Kenny Lofton and Sandy Alomar Jr, are both shopping around for Botox treatments. Owner Frank McCourt announced he would have a brain transplant, because doctors gave him a discount as there is nothing to remove. JD Drew announced that he would do whatever it takes to have his entire skeletal structure replaced with adamantium, because he told his family that he would be Wolverine for Halloween. Finally, Odalis Perez announced he would get a haircut. Ned Colletti announced that he and Gagne have a good working relationship due to his experience as a sportswriter who covered hockey. When asked about the surgeries, Colletti said "well, why not."
Labels: Dodgers
# posted by StolenMonkey86 @ 9:55 PM 
